


Happy Little Pill

by VIP_fran



Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-10-12 01:09:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17457722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VIP_fran/pseuds/VIP_fran
Summary: Jiyong couldn't handle wearing the mask anymore.





	Happy Little Pill

**Author's Note:**

> Hello~
> 
> I've been on this site for as long as I can remember, but I've never tried to write my own work. I noticed how slow the GTOP filter has been for a while and I figured that writing my own story would calm down my need for updates on my favorite fics. I'm willing to continue if anyone actually reads this.
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy! And please leave any constructive criticism :D

He was sitting on the floor wearing a fluffy jumper. It fit oversized on the small man, drowning him in material. The harsh smell of cigarette smoke was strong around the room. 2 boxes were thrown around, completely empty of any cigarettes. 

Jiyong wrapped his arms around himself seeking warmth that he could never find these days. He brought his knees up to his chest and dipped his head downward. A sigh left his lips.

In his hand he held the little pill that was supposed to solve his problems. A small thing that was bright blue.

The sound of heavy rain against the window cracked into the quiet of his home. It seemed like he could spend hours curled up alone with his thoughts these days. Next to him sat an abandoned bottle of wine, his cat purring quietly beside it. 

********

 

They laid beside each other. The smaller man tucked himself into the larger man’s neck and breathed in. The younger man smiled contently and hummed softly. A soft song that would eventually turn into a hit.

“ I can’t do this anymore,” the older man spoke out. “Maybe we shouldn’t do this anymore”

The younger man sat up on his elbows and looked at the older. His eyes scanned the older’s face, looking for those silly eyes that would tell him it was all a joke. Instead he found dull eyes that quickly averted. It’s been like this for months now, but if Jiyong ignored it hard enough, maybe it would go away.

He was wrong.

“It’s okay hyung I understand,” the younger lied. “ If that makes you happy.”

The bed shifted as the older quickly redressed himself. Without a second glance back he stalked toward the door, not noticing the tears that ran down the younger’s face.

“Happy 7th Hyung,” he croaked into the empty room. “ I love you.”

He didn’t leave his room for 5 days.

********

 

His cellphone sat upon the too expensive table that was placed in the center of the room. Jiyong brought his head up at the third vibration of the lit up device. He slowly brought his legs down and crawled slowly toward the distraction. The brightness of the screen caused him to cringe, but nonetheless he read the message that was displayed.

Youngbae: Jiyong are you home? You haven’t posted in days… you have me a bit worried lol  
18:32

Youngbae: Get back to me whenever you can :-)  
18:33

Jiyong felt guilty for what he was thinking to do. Youngbae’s caring nature never changed throughout the years. He could only smile at all the memories he shared with the man- the good and bad. Jiyong continued scrolling through the messages.

Youngbae: Yah! Jiyong don’t do this again! Don’t tell me you fell asleep at the studio again. I’m on my way there now, be ready to go eat. I’m not taking no for an answer!  
20:43

Youngbae: Where are you?  
20:57

Youngbae: Jiyong answer me  
20:57

Jiyong grasped the bottle containing the dozens of pills. A single tear fell down his sunken cheeks. He anxiously opened the container and dipped his head back, dumping the pills into his mouth.

His heart decided to make its presence known by thumping loudly in his ear.

Call Received 20:58

Call Received 20:58

Call Received 20:59

Youngbae: Jiyong I talked to the sound technician. He said you haven’t shown up for a couple days now  
21:01

Youngbae: Look I’m heading to your place now  
21:02

Youngbae: I love you, please hang in there.  
21:02

Jiyong turned around looking for the clock he kept on the wall. It read 21:21. If Youngbae was coming from the studio, he would be here at any time. He picked up the bottle of wine and drank it forcefully. The bitter taste caused him to choke on the contents inside his mouth. Eventually, he painfully swallowed and closed his eyes.

He felt nothing yet.

Jiyong looked at himself and thought about putting effort into cleaning himself up. His stubble was grown out, his hair sat messily, and he had no pants on. The thought ceased when the sound of a knock interrupted him.

He figured that if he ignored it long enough, the interruption would go away.

He was wrong.

The sound of the code being punched in startled him. Jiyong rose up quickly, feeling lightheaded in the process. At this point, the brightness was blinding him.

Youngbae walked in, eyes flickering frantically around the room, until he made eye contact with him. Jiyong dropped into the ground, no longer being able to support himself.

Without warning he felt himself being engulfed by strong arms. Jiyong sobbed in his arms.

“I’m so sorry Youngbae,” Jiyong choked out. “ Please make it stop.”

The arms only tightened their hold and dragged him into the luxurious restroom. He felt nothing now. He heard the distant sobs of his friend, but it was dimming down at a fast rate.

Maybe now he could be happy.


End file.
